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Readers of this third (and final) chapter of Amazing Political Predictions who discover that this is the last part may be saddened, but probably not.

Those who caught last week’s episode know that we disposed of the four leading candiates for President on the GOP ticket, including Ralph Giuliani (Way too liberal), Mitt Romney (”The Chameleon Candidate”), John McCain (Paying the Price for loyalty to George W.) and the Aw-Shucks Ex-Actor Fred Thompson (Still as Friendly as a Hound Dog & twice as smart), but the boys in the back room will find something wrong with him (just you wait). Acting on a burst of Inspired Insight we advised the Grand Old Party that the “same old, same old” wouldn’t cut it this time, and their only chance for victory was to become …..are you ready for this? — the Party of Diversity. Then by a process of Relentless Logic, anyone could see that their obvious choice for President was Condoleezza Rice. So far, so good — Right?

But we still have a Big Problem — something that could derail this carefully-planned Victory Ticket — their choice for Vice-President. Yes, Condi is the Perfect Choice in the Diversity Game, countering Hillary on one hand and Barrack on the other. And she will appeal to independents by moving away from being Bush’s Toady, but she cannot satisfy one of the party’s important factions, probably it’s most important.They are what we used to call the “Staunch Party Loyalists” or “True Blue Party Backers. Now we call them “The Base”. As far as “The Base” is concerned, Condi’s recent show of independence might even be a defect. They will want — nay, demand — someone who can be trusted to stay put, someone who will never change his mind.

As we have seen, the front-running wannabees just can’t be relied on, because they are politicians. To get the perfect candidate for Vice-President, the Party has to go outside the fold to find someone who doesn’t say things just to get elected. In all the U.S. there is probably only one person who will satisfy “The Base” — someone who will never change — today — tomorrow — forever. Again, the choice is obvious: RUSH LIMBAUGH!

History on His Side

Oh, you think that’s a stretch, since Rush has never held public office? Think again. Not too many years ago the Dems made Sargent Shriver a last-minute choice to run with George McGovern. He’d never held public office and his only visible qualification was that he was related to a Kennedy. Before that, there was Charles G. Dawes, a banker, who was elected as Calvin Coolidge’s V-P. And if he hadn’t got crosswise with Silent Cal, he might even have been elected President instead of Herbert Hoover in 1928. Anybody remember Wendell Willkie? He was the GOP candidate for President in 1940 who had never been in politics, and moreover, had always claimed to be a Democrat.

Probably the best example happened just four years before that, in 1936, when Alf Landon ran tandem with Frank Knox, a Chicago newspaper publisher who had never even come close to putting his name on a ballot. As some may remember, this duo went down in flames, winning electoral votes from only Maine and Vermont. So there’s another plus for Rush — he would give us another newspaper man to kick around. Isn’t that what we all want to do?

Yes, there is ample precedent for going outside the party to find “just the right man” to help head-up the national tickets. And Rush is just right for now. Think how happy this would make Cal Thomas?

Why Waste More Campaign Money?

Go ahead, all you States. Play around with your primaries and caucuses. But don’t forget that now you know: The Truth Has Been Proclaimed: Clinton-Obama vs. Rice-Limbaugh.

–Vic Jose

P.S. Anybody who believes all of the above may not be allowed to read anything more on this web site again.

For the “Introduction” and other articles appearing on this page, check “Archives.”

Vic Jose :: Sep.30.2007 :: Uncategorized ::

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